Transition Diary #7: It’s been one month!

It’s been one month since I got my first prescription of Estradiol and Spironolactone. While there isn’t much that has changed, there are plenty of things building the foundation for changes. Over the past few weeks I’ve gone over my chest, not much has changed since budding. They do feel sore if I squeeze, the nips are the same, and they are a bit larger or for some reason I’m noticing them a lot more.

If weight is shifting I haven’t noticed it, like I said though I’m on the larger side so these changes will be much slower and more gradual. My mood has improved noticeably and my attention span is a lot better. I haven’t thought about sex at all and that is so wonderful. Like it’s fine once in a while but I used to think about it constantly. Now all that’s in my head are thoughts, making it easier to focus.

While I don’t think about sex as much I do think about romantic activities more. Like kissing and cuddling, but I think that might be because I’m lonely. Not because of changes.

My arm hair has started to thin, it’s not much and I wouldn’t have noticed it if it wasn’t by accident. I haven’t been looking for that change. But a few of the hairs on my right arm have started to turn blonde and thin. At random spots too, like some in the middle or at the base. Rest of my body hair is unchanged though.

NSFW, talking about my penis. No size difference, although according to others that won’t shrink unless I stop using it. I’ve been making to sure to still “exercise” it every now and then. But at night I typically have 0 urge to touch myself. Like either my sex drive is gone or it’s too much bother. I do experience random spikes of arousal still, not necessarily hard but I get the “Drop everything and take care of this now” feeling every few days.

(NSFW Continued) I haven’t gotten morning wood since last time which was (I think) two weeks ago. If I don’t play whack a mole before bed I’ll get hard in my sleep still but it’s usually gone by morning. I also haven’t experienced “No Reason Boners” since starting E. My testes feel sore pretty consistently, I don’t feel it though unless I actually touch them. I haven’t looked up why that might be but I’m guess it’s something to do with the factory shutting down.

I still haven’t taken any pictures of myself and honestly I don’t want to. Anything before transitioning wasn’t me. I don’t care if later I feel like nothing has changed, changes don’t have to happen fast for me and they don’t have to happen at all. I am at my base still me, I have all the same interests, desires, and needs but I am not who I was before. So comparing me now or future me to then, feels like I’m doing myself wrong.

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